Is It Ever REALLY Circumstance?

I wouldn't say I've been a funk as of late, I've actually been rather content, but at the same time I seem to be rather aware of my unproductiveness.

I can't think of the last time I picked up a camera and took some photos. I got a tablet pen for my birthday five months ago and have yet to use it to edit any photos. While I maybe I haven't been in a position to take photos of myself because of my surgery, after the first week or so I was fully capable of going out and taking other photos. Yet I sat around and did nothing. I love photography.

Am I forgetting my love?

I need to get out and take some photos, but this lack of energy that has accompanied my restrictions from the surgery is seriously hampering that. Or, at least, that's the excuse I'm giving myself.

Now wakeboarding, that I can truly pass off that it's not my fault I'm not doing it. [But that excuse doesn't work for the month before my surgery that I didn't ride.] I want to just go out and hang out on the boat. Just to be near it all. But I can't decide whether that would do more harm than good. Maybe I should get out and take some pictures of people wakeboarding. Though, then I would have to call around and find people that are wakeboarding - and not being able to wakeboard myself, the motivation really isn't there.

For the last month, I've pushed aside things I love because of this surgery. It's an excuse I cling onto like nothing else. But is it really an excuse? Three weeks later - is it really hampering me that much anymore?

Probably not, but the few limitations it imposes really takes a hit on my psyche.

It all leads me to wonder - how many of the obstacles we face are really just put there by ourselves???

I can't wakeboard, but nothing's stopping me from watching others wakeboard - as long as I stay out of the water.

I have no excuse for the photography, and honestly that makes me the saddest of all.

If this is what it's like to have a full time job. I don't want it. Though, I would never take a full time job with this long of a commute. Even cutting that commute in half would give me a lot of time to things I want. [Yes, it's that long of a commute - an hour each way.]

I can't wait for class to start again. I may still have to get up as early, but I get done with stuff so much earlier. I can actually get on a schedule - and make myself stick to it.

I'm making my to-do list now. Wakeboard, exercise, write, play basketball, photography, read non-text books, and whatever else I want to do.

I swear, I'm going to stick to it FINALLY.

Well, at least in September I will.

~GF