I didn't end up going to V's show. Smokin' sent me a text and wanted me to come. After making fun of him for only ever texting me to promote the band (that he's not even in!), I decided not to go.
Plus I went with my roommate, Jew [he calls himself that, so that's why I'm comfortable giving him that nickname] to pick up a PS3 (our house now has a PS2, PS3, Wii, and Xbox360). His friends were going to Howl at the Moon, which I always wanted to check out and it seemed a lot more fun that going to V's show.
Piano bars are a lot of fun. I think it would have been more fun if I knew everyone better - or if I drank more, but I definitely plan to go back at some point. Just not for any special occasions of mine. I refuse to put myself in the line of fire. Lol.
Jew's cute friend that has a girlfriend was there and so was his friend. Who was cute too, so that was a plus. Once he realized I wasn't dating Jew. Haha. Then another friend showed and proceeded to get wasted off only a few drinks. Prompting a stop a Denny's after last call.
Boy with the girlfriend was drunk and ended up sitting next to me and put his arm around me and is like "hey, play along so I can get her worked up" as the girlfriend is eyeing him across the table. [Hey, she's cool. She looked to him and not me which is exactly how it should be.]
He said that a few times and every time I laughed and said "I'm not the one that has to go home with her so I don't care."
The next night I made plans to hang out with MP and Bell met up with us. I didn't really clear it with MP [she was texting me as I was walking to the bar] but luckily Bell is awesome and they both got along. [Yay for awesome friends!]
MP kept buying me drinks. Or rather, bought be a few very strong drinks and I wasn't paying full attention and was definitely drunk by the time last call came around.
Bell took off for a blast from her past, so MP was stuck with my drunk ass. He drove my car to where it wouldn't get towed and then we walked to his car. I wish I would have enjoyed the walk more. It was almost 3am and we were walking around Lake Eola. Something I would never do alone, but being around water (especially at night) is always so calming for me and I should have paid attention. [And now, relaying the story, I want to take Abz there, or to some lake, and stroll around it late at night. Geeze, too many girlfriend-like thoughts already!]
Back to MP's cute little cottage apartment to sleep. I was supposed to go home to meet up with Abz, and my phone died so I couldn't even tell him.
I figured that if MP liked me, this would probably be the time for it to come out. Yeah, I left with no more answers that I had before. Everything was completely platonic until after we woke up (and I was still tired as shit) and half asleep on his couch. He kept tickling me and had his arms around me, etc. We'd be so close together you'd think something would happen, but nothing.
Oh well. I'm not too crushed either way. I like hanging out with him and not having a lot of guy drama right now is refreshing. [That usually only happens when I have no guys!!]
~GF
Showing posts with label mp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mp. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Still Playing Catch Up
So I'm still about a week behind with this thing. I figure I should catch this up to speed before I try my hand at any overly huge, insightful posts.
My weeks are boring. Work and that's pretty much it. Sometimes Abz will come over, but not a lot during the week since I have to get up early and he's one that likes to stay up late (and keep me up late).
I hadn't hung out with Stocking in a while, so I made plans with her. We headed downtown to Wallstreet for dinner after her plans with her boyfriend fell through (he was sick). Afterwards we were going to AG's band's show, and since there were good odds that the whole Moltey Crue would be there - I decided to catch her up to speeds in case I had a freak out. [good or bad]
Before we left Wallstreet, I wanted to show her around since she had never been before. Now, she's not 21 yet, but I've never had a problem before with my friends being under 21 and staying in Wallstreet as long as you get in there before they card. Hell, way back when at the rail jam I was still running around and I was only 20! And at my birthday Becca got in and stayed in no problems. (And so did Nicole even when she lost her fake.)
So it was a huge surprise when the security guards came up to ask and as for our IDs. I mean, we were leaving anyways, so I didn't care - but that's NEVER happened. So as they were escorting Stocking out, with me following, I was just sitting there amazed. I think it happened because our server was crap. I gave her an OK tip, but Stocking gave her a crappy tip to match her crappy service so she had it out for us. (And I just checked my bank account, and I wasn't even charged for the tip I did leave....weird.)
We get over to the show and make the rounds. I was surprised I hadn't seen anyone yet (even AG) until I made my way to the back bar for a drink and there was Hat Boy, V, Billy, and some of the other crew I don't talk to.
V hadn't seen me yet, and since we have our "truce" I walked to him and threw a punch at him that stopped just before it hit him square in the eye. [I have greeted friends this way, but it was soooo much fun to see him freakout. And boy, did he freakout until he realized it was me.] We hugged hello and he introduced himself to Stocking. I said hi to Billy and Hat Boy. Then V made room for me so I could order a drink.
AG saw me while I was getting my drink and said hi and introduced himself to Stocking as well. I started to play the "does he like me, or are we just cool" game with Stocking. [Spoiler alert: we ended up confused]
After chatting in the eyesight of V and company, I had to move. It still gets way weird for me sometimes. [Wait! Still? We had the truce for all of a week at that point. Nevermind.]
Everytime AG saw me he'd say hi, but that was pretty much it. He was always flitting around. Hell, he even saw me in the bathroom when the main door was open, stopped, stepped back, said hi, and then proceeded on his way.
Between bands I introduced Stocking to my photography ways. Namely, catching friends when they are off guard to get the best (and sometimes horrendous) shots.
When it was time for AGs band to play, I though picking the side of the stage would be safe. Wrong! Apparently AG is the lead singer that prefers not to be front and center and was instead in front of me.
So I had to play it cool and not look at him too much, but not ignore him either. Stocking said there was a point that he was looking at me for quite a while.
We went to get drinks, and while we were waiting this girl came up to me. Turns out she was MP's friend from the Disturbed show! AKA (the friend's newly-dubed name), Stocking, and I sat and chatted at the bar.
At some point V came up to the bar in between me and the wall. Granted, the bar is small and that was kinda the only open spot. But there's a huge bar in the back and I'm pretty sure he had a mostly full drink!
I ignored him, or at least tried to until he butted into our conversations. Then he proceeded to try and drag me into a one-on-one conversation with him and ignore my girls. Bringing up things from our past, or topics he knew I'd have to say something on, or rag him about. Or simply just grabbing me or nudging me.
Part of me hated it because he just told me a week ago why he didn't want to be with me - and that fact isn't changing anytime soon! The other part loved that I could still command his attention. That we were at a show and he chose to come up and vie for my attention.
At one point he even joked [was he joking?] about trying to get on my list. Like the list of guys I like and/or am interested in. I, of course, retorted with the fact that he took himself off that list and he can't just decide to be back on it.
He never gave a full response to that.
Stocking mentioned (out of V's earshot) that to anyone looking it seemed as if me and V were boyfriend/girlfriend, and if not that we really liked each other. I shot her an evil glare and cursed myself for being able to fall back into that so easily.
When the show was over V and the crew were leaving to this new club, Stardust. He asked me to come, but I said I couldn't unless it was 18+ because of Stocking. He said he'd text me when he got there - and asked for my number! He had forgotten to save it from last week!!
So I grabbed his phone and started to put my number in [so he couldn't have anymore excuses] and he told me to put the initials of the band we met through (which he's now in). I had seen in his phone there was no one with just my first name.
"There's no one with my first name, so I don't have to put a note"
"But that's how I know you in my phone"
"Yeah, but I'm special enough to be just my name"
He says something about someone he worked with that used to be the one with just my name and something else, but I didn't care enough to pay attention.
"Well, she's not in your phone anymore. Besides I'm still important enough to be just me. Aren't I?"
[At this point I'm not sure what game it was, but I decided to play his game back. Hence the way this is going.]
"Yes, you are important enough."
"Good, just my name then."
Saved it, and handed him back his phone.
After they left I found AG to say goodbye. We still didn't say too much to each other, so I walked away thinking that I was getting myself worked up for nothing. Just another guy that likes me when he's drunk (like Hat Boy). I'm OK with that. [I have Abz right now. lol]
Stocking and I walked around downtown aimlessly since we didn't want to pay for a cover (it was after 1am) and I was giving the crew enough time to get to Stardust to see if she could get in.
We gave up, and when we got to my car V text me, but just said that the club sucked.
So we got in and headed home.
On the main road, and V texts me asks me what we're doing. This time he text me back with the age (21+) but says they're headed back to the house.
By the time I got that text we were halfway home and not turning around for some chill after party. I texted him back.
Too late now. Guess you won't get your *gayleforce* fix tonight.
Too late for what.
Guess you'll never know now.
When I sent those texts I decided that I was going to just fuck right back with him. I mean, if he gets to act like he used to and confuse my head I have two choices 1) Stay away from him or 2) Confuse him right back. We have too many mutual friends to completely avoid him, so I've chosen to stay sane by playing his game.
Or at least playing his game that I can see. He claims honesty, but sometimes I think he's just lying to himself.
V has a show tonight. I was going to bring Stocking, but she has to work.
I don't think I'll go.
I still haven't seen the band since he joined.
~GF
My weeks are boring. Work and that's pretty much it. Sometimes Abz will come over, but not a lot during the week since I have to get up early and he's one that likes to stay up late (and keep me up late).
I hadn't hung out with Stocking in a while, so I made plans with her. We headed downtown to Wallstreet for dinner after her plans with her boyfriend fell through (he was sick). Afterwards we were going to AG's band's show, and since there were good odds that the whole Moltey Crue would be there - I decided to catch her up to speeds in case I had a freak out. [good or bad]
Before we left Wallstreet, I wanted to show her around since she had never been before. Now, she's not 21 yet, but I've never had a problem before with my friends being under 21 and staying in Wallstreet as long as you get in there before they card. Hell, way back when at the rail jam I was still running around and I was only 20! And at my birthday Becca got in and stayed in no problems. (And so did Nicole even when she lost her fake.)
So it was a huge surprise when the security guards came up to ask and as for our IDs. I mean, we were leaving anyways, so I didn't care - but that's NEVER happened. So as they were escorting Stocking out, with me following, I was just sitting there amazed. I think it happened because our server was crap. I gave her an OK tip, but Stocking gave her a crappy tip to match her crappy service so she had it out for us. (And I just checked my bank account, and I wasn't even charged for the tip I did leave....weird.)
We get over to the show and make the rounds. I was surprised I hadn't seen anyone yet (even AG) until I made my way to the back bar for a drink and there was Hat Boy, V, Billy, and some of the other crew I don't talk to.
V hadn't seen me yet, and since we have our "truce" I walked to him and threw a punch at him that stopped just before it hit him square in the eye. [I have greeted friends this way, but it was soooo much fun to see him freakout. And boy, did he freakout until he realized it was me.] We hugged hello and he introduced himself to Stocking. I said hi to Billy and Hat Boy. Then V made room for me so I could order a drink.
AG saw me while I was getting my drink and said hi and introduced himself to Stocking as well. I started to play the "does he like me, or are we just cool" game with Stocking. [Spoiler alert: we ended up confused]
After chatting in the eyesight of V and company, I had to move. It still gets way weird for me sometimes. [Wait! Still? We had the truce for all of a week at that point. Nevermind.]
Everytime AG saw me he'd say hi, but that was pretty much it. He was always flitting around. Hell, he even saw me in the bathroom when the main door was open, stopped, stepped back, said hi, and then proceeded on his way.
Between bands I introduced Stocking to my photography ways. Namely, catching friends when they are off guard to get the best (and sometimes horrendous) shots.
When it was time for AGs band to play, I though picking the side of the stage would be safe. Wrong! Apparently AG is the lead singer that prefers not to be front and center and was instead in front of me.
So I had to play it cool and not look at him too much, but not ignore him either. Stocking said there was a point that he was looking at me for quite a while.
We went to get drinks, and while we were waiting this girl came up to me. Turns out she was MP's friend from the Disturbed show! AKA (the friend's newly-dubed name), Stocking, and I sat and chatted at the bar.
At some point V came up to the bar in between me and the wall. Granted, the bar is small and that was kinda the only open spot. But there's a huge bar in the back and I'm pretty sure he had a mostly full drink!
I ignored him, or at least tried to until he butted into our conversations. Then he proceeded to try and drag me into a one-on-one conversation with him and ignore my girls. Bringing up things from our past, or topics he knew I'd have to say something on, or rag him about. Or simply just grabbing me or nudging me.
Part of me hated it because he just told me a week ago why he didn't want to be with me - and that fact isn't changing anytime soon! The other part loved that I could still command his attention. That we were at a show and he chose to come up and vie for my attention.
At one point he even joked [was he joking?] about trying to get on my list. Like the list of guys I like and/or am interested in. I, of course, retorted with the fact that he took himself off that list and he can't just decide to be back on it.
He never gave a full response to that.
Stocking mentioned (out of V's earshot) that to anyone looking it seemed as if me and V were boyfriend/girlfriend, and if not that we really liked each other. I shot her an evil glare and cursed myself for being able to fall back into that so easily.
When the show was over V and the crew were leaving to this new club, Stardust. He asked me to come, but I said I couldn't unless it was 18+ because of Stocking. He said he'd text me when he got there - and asked for my number! He had forgotten to save it from last week!!
So I grabbed his phone and started to put my number in [so he couldn't have anymore excuses] and he told me to put the initials of the band we met through (which he's now in). I had seen in his phone there was no one with just my first name.
"There's no one with my first name, so I don't have to put a note"
"But that's how I know you in my phone"
"Yeah, but I'm special enough to be just my name"
He says something about someone he worked with that used to be the one with just my name and something else, but I didn't care enough to pay attention.
"Well, she's not in your phone anymore. Besides I'm still important enough to be just me. Aren't I?"
[At this point I'm not sure what game it was, but I decided to play his game back. Hence the way this is going.]
"Yes, you are important enough."
"Good, just my name then."
Saved it, and handed him back his phone.
After they left I found AG to say goodbye. We still didn't say too much to each other, so I walked away thinking that I was getting myself worked up for nothing. Just another guy that likes me when he's drunk (like Hat Boy). I'm OK with that. [I have Abz right now. lol]
Stocking and I walked around downtown aimlessly since we didn't want to pay for a cover (it was after 1am) and I was giving the crew enough time to get to Stardust to see if she could get in.
We gave up, and when we got to my car V text me, but just said that the club sucked.
So we got in and headed home.
On the main road, and V texts me asks me what we're doing. This time he text me back with the age (21+) but says they're headed back to the house.
By the time I got that text we were halfway home and not turning around for some chill after party. I texted him back.
Too late now. Guess you won't get your *gayleforce* fix tonight.
Too late for what.
Guess you'll never know now.
When I sent those texts I decided that I was going to just fuck right back with him. I mean, if he gets to act like he used to and confuse my head I have two choices 1) Stay away from him or 2) Confuse him right back. We have too many mutual friends to completely avoid him, so I've chosen to stay sane by playing his game.
Or at least playing his game that I can see. He claims honesty, but sometimes I think he's just lying to himself.
V has a show tonight. I was going to bring Stocking, but she has to work.
I don't think I'll go.
I still haven't seen the band since he joined.
~GF
Friday, June 6, 2008
Back from the Abyss
Ok, so I really wasn't in any abyss or gone for any extend period of time, but I grossly ignored this journal [all the while cursing the writers of other blogs I read when I'm bored at work]. Which is surprising since I found out my work actually allows me to get onto this site because it doesn't let me get on the other networking sites. You'd think I'd be updating this every day!!
Anyways, lots has happened and yet not that much. I shall try to give a reader's digest version of the last month.
My friend MP got and extra ticket to see Disturbed so I jumped at the opportunity to see them with Five Finger Death Punch. Amazing show. I highly suggest anyone go see them if they could.
The next day I tried to go see Mindless Self Indulgence (amazing, seen them 3 or 4 times already) but it sold out moments before I got there. MP was going to go too, so since neither of us did we made plans to hang out. We were going to play lazer tag (or combat something or other that they call it) but there was a private party so by the time I got there I couldn't play.
So we head downtown and just hung out and talked. Which in the whole time I knew him it's never been just the two of us. It was nice. We switched venues and met up with his friends (that got into the show, bastards). It was two couples, so it kinda devolved down to him and me hanging out and tickle fights and arms wrapped around one another and being dangerously close to one another. Then a prolonged, multiple hug goodbye.
I had the distinct feeling a few times that he might kiss me, but he didn't. It brought back all those comments by my friends at my birthday that he liked me.
On the way home from the Disturbed show, this cutie on a street bike was flirting with me, and then gave me his number when we got stopped by traffic. I called, and we met up that Saturday, and then went out on a date the next week. I thought everything went well and I actually surprised myself by liking him more than I though. Then we were making plans to hang out again and I heard nothing. Then on Memorial Day he called me, I missed it, I called him back the next day and now nothing again!
He seemed like a good guy! I kinda don't want to let him fall by the wayside - but I really don't want to chase guys anymore. [Which is funny since he was the one that was very prompt about phone calls and meeting up.] I haven't decided whether I'm going to try and call him again.
My cough came back. Or I guess, more aptly, my asthma came back. It sucked big time. It came back with a vengeance and there was no slow build up to it. I had to go to a walk-in clinic for it and now I have all these tests for it. Not cool.
This awesome chick I know, Stocking [met her at a Christmas party wearing a giant stocking], invited me to her party on a Sunday. For being a freshman in college, she's pretty cool - so I of course went. [Trying to help her get a fake so we can go clubbing together! lol]
It was a very low-key party, but I was having quite a bit of fun. There was this one guy there, Abz, that I noticed as cute when he came in, but thought nothing after that. I guess I was in full "I don't want a guy they keep fucking up mode".
As the night wore on I ended up talking with Abz, mainly about music, and then we got kicked outta the house. He wanted to keep hanging, I had the next day off so I was cool with that. Confusion ensued and we somehow ended up back at my place watching a movie, which actually ended up making out through it all and he ended up crashing in my bed [and just crashing! well, mostly crashing].
He left in the early afternoon, and then came back after work. He somehow [with little persuasion] talked me into skipping a day at work and we hung out all Tuesday until he left at midnight so I could get some sleep. He came back over Thursday night and we went to see Iron Man [it was a cute little date! He even came in a button up shirt too!] and then he stayed until he had to go to work Friday. Then I txt him from downtown Friday night and he came over until he had work on Saturday. Repeat on Saturday night. And then he came over yesterday and walked around my neighborhood for almost two hours.
For a guy who proclaims he doesn't know how to date, or what a real date is, he sure seems to be doing date-like stuff with me.
I like him. Not sure where it's going, but right now I'm just happy with the way things are. :-D
I have surgery in three weeks. Nothing major. I'm not even getting knocked out for it - but they are taking decent sized chunks out of my skin (my back!) so I'll probably have a crappy weekend that week. I'm planning a weekend of movies, sleep, and writing. Hopefully it happens!
I think that (mostly) wraps up the past month.
~GF
Anyways, lots has happened and yet not that much. I shall try to give a reader's digest version of the last month.
My friend MP got and extra ticket to see Disturbed so I jumped at the opportunity to see them with Five Finger Death Punch. Amazing show. I highly suggest anyone go see them if they could.
The next day I tried to go see Mindless Self Indulgence (amazing, seen them 3 or 4 times already) but it sold out moments before I got there. MP was going to go too, so since neither of us did we made plans to hang out. We were going to play lazer tag (or combat something or other that they call it) but there was a private party so by the time I got there I couldn't play.
So we head downtown and just hung out and talked. Which in the whole time I knew him it's never been just the two of us. It was nice. We switched venues and met up with his friends (that got into the show, bastards). It was two couples, so it kinda devolved down to him and me hanging out and tickle fights and arms wrapped around one another and being dangerously close to one another. Then a prolonged, multiple hug goodbye.
I had the distinct feeling a few times that he might kiss me, but he didn't. It brought back all those comments by my friends at my birthday that he liked me.
On the way home from the Disturbed show, this cutie on a street bike was flirting with me, and then gave me his number when we got stopped by traffic. I called, and we met up that Saturday, and then went out on a date the next week. I thought everything went well and I actually surprised myself by liking him more than I though. Then we were making plans to hang out again and I heard nothing. Then on Memorial Day he called me, I missed it, I called him back the next day and now nothing again!
He seemed like a good guy! I kinda don't want to let him fall by the wayside - but I really don't want to chase guys anymore. [Which is funny since he was the one that was very prompt about phone calls and meeting up.] I haven't decided whether I'm going to try and call him again.
My cough came back. Or I guess, more aptly, my asthma came back. It sucked big time. It came back with a vengeance and there was no slow build up to it. I had to go to a walk-in clinic for it and now I have all these tests for it. Not cool.
This awesome chick I know, Stocking [met her at a Christmas party wearing a giant stocking], invited me to her party on a Sunday. For being a freshman in college, she's pretty cool - so I of course went. [Trying to help her get a fake so we can go clubbing together! lol]
It was a very low-key party, but I was having quite a bit of fun. There was this one guy there, Abz, that I noticed as cute when he came in, but thought nothing after that. I guess I was in full "I don't want a guy they keep fucking up mode".
As the night wore on I ended up talking with Abz, mainly about music, and then we got kicked outta the house. He wanted to keep hanging, I had the next day off so I was cool with that. Confusion ensued and we somehow ended up back at my place watching a movie, which actually ended up making out through it all and he ended up crashing in my bed [and just crashing! well, mostly crashing].
He left in the early afternoon, and then came back after work. He somehow [with little persuasion] talked me into skipping a day at work and we hung out all Tuesday until he left at midnight so I could get some sleep. He came back over Thursday night and we went to see Iron Man [it was a cute little date! He even came in a button up shirt too!] and then he stayed until he had to go to work Friday. Then I txt him from downtown Friday night and he came over until he had work on Saturday. Repeat on Saturday night. And then he came over yesterday and walked around my neighborhood for almost two hours.
For a guy who proclaims he doesn't know how to date, or what a real date is, he sure seems to be doing date-like stuff with me.
I like him. Not sure where it's going, but right now I'm just happy with the way things are. :-D
I have surgery in three weeks. Nothing major. I'm not even getting knocked out for it - but they are taking decent sized chunks out of my skin (my back!) so I'll probably have a crappy weekend that week. I'm planning a weekend of movies, sleep, and writing. Hopefully it happens!
I think that (mostly) wraps up the past month.
~GF
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
My Bday
So my birthday was this past weekend. As far as my birthdays go, it was rather good. Though for me that's not saying much. A lot of my friends didn't show up, and one rather close friend totally ditched out on me the day before, but enough showed. A grand total of seven had showed up. I still had fun though. It also proved while I love my roommates, even though one can annoy me and the kitchen isn't always kept clean. They both showed up and made sure to take care of my car since I got stuck having to drive out there.
I didn't meet anyone new that night. I'm stil not feeling it. I have that nagging voice that I'll just pick the same type of people again. I want new friends, but I really don't have the energy to deal with the hassle of making new friends. The friends I have are sucking the energy I have right out of me.
My roommate's girlfriend thought my friend MP was macking on me. I didn't think so, but what do I know anymore?? Especially when I feel insecure I don't notice things as much about guys. It's like I'm 16 years old again and it sucks. I don't even know if I would want him macking on me. He's quite a few years older than me, and while all I've had as of late is older guys - none of them have worked out in the slightest. He's nice though. Haven't really seen him in the last two years, and I only met him a little more than two years ago. I felt special though that he came out for my birthday. He even followed after me as I ran outside when my asthma or whatever the hell it is (the doctors don't know, isn't that awesome) and was making sure I was ok. That freaked me out. It reminded me too much of V.
And I don't want to go there again.I was kind of sad when D didn't mention anything, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised since he ignored it last year too. I'm guessing from my response to his letter at the beginning of the year he figured it was best to not keep in contact. Maybe it is for the best. I would sort of like to try to start a friendship. But at the same time I know I can't deal with the fact that he's about to have a kid. Not after all the stuff that went on with us regarding him having a kid (but that turned out to be a cruel trick by his ex).
Of all my birthdays, this has definitely been one of the best, but not without its problems. But I still can't help but think how it would be to finally be in a relationship on my birthday. I imagine there's no better way to end a birthday then to curl up in a boyfriend's arms and fall asleep.
The true friends come out when it counts. And true friends change from year to year.
~GF
I didn't meet anyone new that night. I'm stil not feeling it. I have that nagging voice that I'll just pick the same type of people again. I want new friends, but I really don't have the energy to deal with the hassle of making new friends. The friends I have are sucking the energy I have right out of me.
My roommate's girlfriend thought my friend MP was macking on me. I didn't think so, but what do I know anymore?? Especially when I feel insecure I don't notice things as much about guys. It's like I'm 16 years old again and it sucks. I don't even know if I would want him macking on me. He's quite a few years older than me, and while all I've had as of late is older guys - none of them have worked out in the slightest. He's nice though. Haven't really seen him in the last two years, and I only met him a little more than two years ago. I felt special though that he came out for my birthday. He even followed after me as I ran outside when my asthma or whatever the hell it is (the doctors don't know, isn't that awesome) and was making sure I was ok. That freaked me out. It reminded me too much of V.
And I don't want to go there again.I was kind of sad when D didn't mention anything, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised since he ignored it last year too. I'm guessing from my response to his letter at the beginning of the year he figured it was best to not keep in contact. Maybe it is for the best. I would sort of like to try to start a friendship. But at the same time I know I can't deal with the fact that he's about to have a kid. Not after all the stuff that went on with us regarding him having a kid (but that turned out to be a cruel trick by his ex).
Of all my birthdays, this has definitely been one of the best, but not without its problems. But I still can't help but think how it would be to finally be in a relationship on my birthday. I imagine there's no better way to end a birthday then to curl up in a boyfriend's arms and fall asleep.
The true friends come out when it counts. And true friends change from year to year.
~GF
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