Still Playing Catch Up

So I'm still about a week behind with this thing. I figure I should catch this up to speed before I try my hand at any overly huge, insightful posts.

My weeks are boring. Work and that's pretty much it. Sometimes Abz will come over, but not a lot during the week since I have to get up early and he's one that likes to stay up late (and keep me up late).

I hadn't hung out with Stocking in a while, so I made plans with her. We headed downtown to Wallstreet for dinner after her plans with her boyfriend fell through (he was sick). Afterwards we were going to AG's band's show, and since there were good odds that the whole Moltey Crue would be there - I decided to catch her up to speeds in case I had a freak out. [good or bad]

Before we left Wallstreet, I wanted to show her around since she had never been before. Now, she's not 21 yet, but I've never had a problem before with my friends being under 21 and staying in Wallstreet as long as you get in there before they card. Hell, way back when at the rail jam I was still running around and I was only 20! And at my birthday Becca got in and stayed in no problems. (And so did Nicole even when she lost her fake.)

So it was a huge surprise when the security guards came up to ask and as for our IDs. I mean, we were leaving anyways, so I didn't care - but that's NEVER happened. So as they were escorting Stocking out, with me following, I was just sitting there amazed. I think it happened because our server was crap. I gave her an OK tip, but Stocking gave her a crappy tip to match her crappy service so she had it out for us. (And I just checked my bank account, and I wasn't even charged for the tip I did leave....weird.)

We get over to the show and make the rounds. I was surprised I hadn't seen anyone yet (even AG) until I made my way to the back bar for a drink and there was Hat Boy, V, Billy, and some of the other crew I don't talk to.

V hadn't seen me yet, and since we have our "truce" I walked to him and threw a punch at him that stopped just before it hit him square in the eye. [I have greeted friends this way, but it was soooo much fun to see him freakout. And boy, did he freakout until he realized it was me.] We hugged hello and he introduced himself to Stocking. I said hi to Billy and Hat Boy. Then V made room for me so I could order a drink.

AG saw me while I was getting my drink and said hi and introduced himself to Stocking as well. I started to play the "does he like me, or are we just cool" game with Stocking. [Spoiler alert: we ended up confused]

After chatting in the eyesight of V and company, I had to move. It still gets way weird for me sometimes. [Wait! Still? We had the truce for all of a week at that point. Nevermind.]

Everytime AG saw me he'd say hi, but that was pretty much it. He was always flitting around. Hell, he even saw me in the bathroom when the main door was open, stopped, stepped back, said hi, and then proceeded on his way.

Between bands I introduced Stocking to my photography ways. Namely, catching friends when they are off guard to get the best (and sometimes horrendous) shots.

When it was time for AGs band to play, I though picking the side of the stage would be safe. Wrong! Apparently AG is the lead singer that prefers not to be front and center and was instead in front of me.

So I had to play it cool and not look at him too much, but not ignore him either. Stocking said there was a point that he was looking at me for quite a while.

We went to get drinks, and while we were waiting this girl came up to me. Turns out she was MP's friend from the Disturbed show! AKA (the friend's newly-dubed name), Stocking, and I sat and chatted at the bar.

At some point V came up to the bar in between me and the wall. Granted, the bar is small and that was kinda the only open spot. But there's a huge bar in the back and I'm pretty sure he had a mostly full drink!

I ignored him, or at least tried to until he butted into our conversations. Then he proceeded to try and drag me into a one-on-one conversation with him and ignore my girls. Bringing up things from our past, or topics he knew I'd have to say something on, or rag him about. Or simply just grabbing me or nudging me.

Part of me hated it because he just told me a week ago why he didn't want to be with me - and that fact isn't changing anytime soon! The other part loved that I could still command his attention. That we were at a show and he chose to come up and vie for my attention.

At one point he even joked [was he joking?] about trying to get on my list. Like the list of guys I like and/or am interested in. I, of course, retorted with the fact that he took himself off that list and he can't just decide to be back on it.

He never gave a full response to that.

Stocking mentioned (out of V's earshot) that to anyone looking it seemed as if me and V were boyfriend/girlfriend, and if not that we really liked each other. I shot her an evil glare and cursed myself for being able to fall back into that so easily.

When the show was over V and the crew were leaving to this new club, Stardust. He asked me to come, but I said I couldn't unless it was 18+ because of Stocking. He said he'd text me when he got there - and asked for my number! He had forgotten to save it from last week!!

So I grabbed his phone and started to put my number in [so he couldn't have anymore excuses] and he told me to put the initials of the band we met through (which he's now in). I had seen in his phone there was no one with just my first name.

"There's no one with my first name, so I don't have to put a note"

"But that's how I know you in my phone"

"Yeah, but I'm special enough to be just my name"

He says something about someone he worked with that used to be the one with just my name and something else, but I didn't care enough to pay attention.

"Well, she's not in your phone anymore. Besides I'm still important enough to be just me. Aren't I?"

[At this point I'm not sure what game it was, but I decided to play his game back. Hence the way this is going.]

"Yes, you are important enough."

"Good, just my name then."

Saved it, and handed him back his phone.

After they left I found AG to say goodbye. We still didn't say too much to each other, so I walked away thinking that I was getting myself worked up for nothing. Just another guy that likes me when he's drunk (like Hat Boy). I'm OK with that. [I have Abz right now. lol]

Stocking and I walked around downtown aimlessly since we didn't want to pay for a cover (it was after 1am) and I was giving the crew enough time to get to Stardust to see if she could get in.

We gave up, and when we got to my car V text me, but just said that the club sucked.

So we got in and headed home.

On the main road, and V texts me asks me what we're doing. This time he text me back with the age (21+) but says they're headed back to the house.

By the time I got that text we were halfway home and not turning around for some chill after party. I texted him back.

Too late now. Guess you won't get your *gayleforce* fix tonight.

Too late for what.

Guess you'll never know now.

When I sent those texts I decided that I was going to just fuck right back with him. I mean, if he gets to act like he used to and confuse my head I have two choices 1) Stay away from him or 2) Confuse him right back. We have too many mutual friends to completely avoid him, so I've chosen to stay sane by playing his game.

Or at least playing his game that I can see. He claims honesty, but sometimes I think he's just lying to himself.

V has a show tonight. I was going to bring Stocking, but she has to work.

I don't think I'll go.

I still haven't seen the band since he joined.

~GF

Quick Update!

Mainly to remind myself to update about this weekend before I forget!

Spent Friday night at home playing the Wii with my roommates and some of their friends. It was fun. I still suck at SmashBrothers no matter how many times I play it.

Our kitchen was an utter mess - and most of it wasn't mine. But I ended up cleaning up a lot of it because it was just so disgusting. And I needed clean plates. So not cool. My roommates better get on that shit.

Headed to a party Saturday that I knew about and didn't think I was attending. Then my friend, Bell, got out of work and we went. [Well more like I met her there over an hour after she got there - I got distracted!]

And that's basically where the update is. Because that entire event involves Hat Boy, V, Smooth, Billy, Bell [of course], and a whole bunch of other people that I have yet to make up names for. [Hey, I didn't realize one of them was going to keep popping up in my life!]

But I have been at work way too long. So party update either tonight or tomorrow.

~GF

Rather Uneventful

It was finals week, so there wasn't much going on. Just work, studying, and tests.

Friday I took a break from it all and went to the Panic at the Disco show. It was overall not that exciting. Getting dangerously close to disappointing. Motion City Soundtrack put on a good show, but the crowd sucked. And the horrible crowd continued on to Panic's part of the show. For the most part everyone just stood there - which just makes the whole show boring.

The crowd always makes the show. They all just stood there. I think a big portion of it all came from the fact that Panic remixed all of their songs from their first album and it probably confused people. I loved it. It was nice to hear the same songs, but mixed up and it really seemed like they were enjoying playing those songs. And with almost two years on the one album I'm pretty sure they're glad to not have to play it exactly like it's on the CD.

So the bands put on an awesome show, the crowd just ruined it.

Then I met up with the lovely Bell to take in downtown. It was a lot of fun. Except the expected run in with V and this time Billy at the end of the night. BD and his gf were there as well. I decided to say goodbye to them (they're moving) in case I don't see them before they do. I really only wanted to say bye to BD [though he's been somewhat cold to me since I've dated V] and he called his gf over so I could say bye too.

I really don't care about her leaving. I agree with Bll - I'm way cooler of a person and would be a WAY more awesome girlfriend.

Sunday I went to the Wake Games. Luckily the friend that bitched me out via txt left as I was showing up. But I got to say hi to my friend she works with and he's totally down with hooking me up with great deals on some of their gear. So yay!!

And BG was there. Whew, he's seriously the only pro in a while I've had a thing for. There was that short thing with another pro, that couldn't really be called a thing, but I liked him for a few weeks.

BG is like 27 or something. A good age I think. He's also gorgeous. Now if only we could really, actually hang out. That would be cool. I think I should date a wakeboarder. It's about time.

Then Becca and I met up for dinner [she was at Wake Games too]. It was fun to catch up and have girl talk. I really love her! In some ways she's a lot like me -- especially in certain things that I don't have in common with my other close friends anymore. It's nice to have someone in that same boat as me and that gets it.

We talked about how nice girls finish last behind even nice boys. [More about that on another post.]

Then we went to try out this karaoke place that RG and his friend told me about.

I know, I know. This guy blew me off and I'm going to show up to a place that I KNOW he'll be at???

Well I decided that I barely knew the guy, and even guys I know really well (*cough* V *cough*) can't stop me from doing something I want to do.

So it was fun. I walked in and saw this guy I thought was RG. And it kinda made me a little sad because he came across way cuter and suave, but still a dork and total fun.

I was trying to find a moment to say hi to his friend Karaoke without Fake RG around, and the timing was off. And I really did think it was him because he kept looking at me a few times! Then all of a sudden the real RG showed up. That threw me for a loop.

I had to regroup and then realized that I could go after Fake RG because he wasn't RG. But I wasn't on my game and didn't really have the energy to. It seems Fake RG knows a lot of the people that came to karoke (and I think RG himself too) so he should be around. [Did I mentioned he had a pretty nice body too??]

I finally got a chance to say hi to Karaoke. Part of me kinda wishes he wasn't married. He's definitely cute and very happy and has a fun personality. Oh well, friends works too!

As we chatted, he asked if I had seen RG. I mumbled something and then Karaoke had to go change the song (RG was standing right at the DJ set-up). Karaoke came back and tried to talk us into singing [I said that we'd get a big group and come back and then we'll totally do it... especially if I'm drunk] and RG had sauntered down to our little group. When he caught my eye he was all like "Oh! Hey..." as if he didn't know I was there.

I find it very hard to believe that Karaoke didn't mention that I was there. But Becca and I were on our way out so I didn't stick around for drama or an explanation.

Part of me kinda wished that he would call the next day or something, but I'm ok with him not doing that. Worst comes to worse, I can just flirt with Fake RG whenever I go to karaoke.

Or bring BG. Hehe.

Yay for wishful thinking!!!

~GF

Drama Drama Drama

So the drama is getting to me less. Trying to have some fun and just kinda let it all go.

Red Bull had a wakeboard thing this weekend for all the colleges. It was a freaking blast. So much fun. And Tequila Boy was there. He's someone that's been around for a while. The short of it was, had a crush on his friend way back when. The friend had a girlfriend but was pushing me and Tequila Boy (whom I got drunk off taking shots of tequila with me) so I figured he was single. We almost kissed, but another friend of his walked in on us. A few months later a mutual friend tells me that Tequila Boy had been in a relationship for well over a year (and still was). Since broken up. It's all been friendly like between us since then.

He's cute and probably would be fun as hell to date. Who knows? He's supposed to take me kiteboarding sometime. That'll be fun. :-D

Ran into V, again, downtown Saturday night. Smooth, Billy, Hat Boy, and others were all there. I saw Hat Boy as I was headed into the club and I hadn't seen him in weeks so it was a huge hug run up to say hi. He said that "V and everyone else is back there" and he would be right back.

Don't know why he mentioned V. Doesn't everyone know we aren't dating anymore???

But I ran back there to say hi to everyone, well everyone but V. Smooth makes me smile. Even though he's way older than me (older than V!!) he totally makes me smile [but not in any way a I-want-to-date-you smile].

So I was talking to people, but not saying anything to V. I said hi, that was it. Apparently he doesn't like it when I don't give him attention [yet, when I do he just makes bullshit excuses and forgets me when I'm out of sight] because he kept trying to interject himself into conversations I was having. Like at one point I got tired of it and just "jokingly" shoved my hand in his face and was like blah, leave us alone.

Haha. It totally felt good. When I was leaving he said something to me, and I responded that I went to that bar way before I met him, so he must be stalking me since he's always there. He agreed, though I'm pretty sure he was just joking or something. Whatever.

I'm kinda blah that I haven't really heard from Bandanna. He had to help a friend out last weekend and had to cancel plans before we made definite ones. He said he'd get to me either way this past week because he should be in town. I saw him on the website and was going to IM him, but he got off before I got around to it.

Sigh. I'm going to send him a message to get it over with. No sense in dragging this shit out til he "remembers" me again.

Oh, and to wrap it all V is taking BD's place in his band (Hat Boy is also in said band). So part of the reason I go won't be in the band anymore (but probably at most of the shows), and a reason I don't want to go will be at every show. WTF?!?!? Like I could deal with seeing V at the shows, but now if I go I'm indirectly cheering and clapping for him -- even if I'm not. So not good.

I need a cute boy to go to the show with.

[I wonder what the reason is for BD leaving the band? Though V is a lot closer to everyone in age. [They replace the youngin' with someone older than them!! haha]]

~GF

Spring Break Wrap Up

So this past week was my last spring break of college, at least for undergrad. And my grandiose plans of having an awesome spring break went out the door a few weeks before.

Tuesday I headed home to the 'rents and then to my bro's for a get-together. That was rather uneventful. Still kind of the black sheep of the family - at least that part of the family - but I really don't care anymore. I like who I am and my life, so if they don't it's not my problem.

Wednesday I headed back to Orlando and picked up Amanda and met her friend Carla. Amanda and I headed back to my place and then went out to eat. We headed downtown, to find that Wednesdays really are dead downtown. A lot of guys we had no interest in hit on us. But the bright side is that I actually said something to Vintage! Well, he said it to me and I replied. We were walking by and he asked how I (maybe we?) were doing and I said good. And we went in there to end the night, but I didn't talk to him anymore. There's always girls around him. :-( But he looks gorgeous even out of his suit and in a nice dress shirt.

Thursday we went to Universal Studios. It was fun. Nothing much to report, though we acted like kids in their kid zone and took a lot of pictures. Real friends are ones you can act like you're 5 with when you're really 22. Maybe the best part of the day was the dinner at Margaritaville. Mmmm... that place is so freaking good I wish it was closer to where I live.

Friday was the dreaded CD release show for BD's band. And of course, like I knew, V was there. I show up to the concert almost an hour after it started, and V and Smooth were right in front of me. I said hi to Smooth first, and then V went to give me a hug. Which I stopped at just a half-hug at best, though I really just wanted to push him off of me. He said he owed me an apology, to which I said yeah, with obvious annoyance in his voice. I think he was slightly taken aback by my brashness.

He said he didn't have any excuse for why he did that. That he was real busy with work and such, but that it was no excuse. Then he asked if I forgave him. I told him it wasn't that simple. We were at a show, it wasn't exactly a place where I could pull him aside and ask him what I wanted - if he REALLY wants me to forgive him anyways. And I still don't know exactly what he wants!

I mean, it got really hard for me at times to forget that he did that to me and I should be mad at him. At times, it was so easy to fall back into the ease we always had each other. One of his friends even wanted a picture of us, and he just wrapped his arms around me like he used to and I couldn't help but smile at how good it felt. But once his arms were gone, I was hit with the sudden realization that I don't know how to take gestures from him like that anymore.

I talked with Smooth, Billy, Alberto and a bunch of new people throughout the night. The good thing about that crowd is I know so many people it usually isn't that bad when I go alone. BD and I are back on hugging terms - though it's definitely different hugs than pre-V era. His gf got up on stage with the band a sang. I knew she sang, but I wasn't so impressed.

Saturday night I headed downtown with my group of friends I haven't hung out with in a while. It was fun, though JB started getting a lil touchy feely and I didn't get to talk to the cute guys that were at the club because they disappeared. Thankfully a sun burn helped me escape the awkwardness as JB hugged me goodbye. I had a slight feeling he might have gone in for a kiss (we made out a few times back in like August) which I'm just not up for, with him, anymore.

Now I'm just stuck with the hell of trying to put together a huge project for a class that I need to pass. It's due in four days, and it's an UTTER mess. I'm sure I'll be stuck working on that for the next four days.

~GF