Recap Continued...

So I was having fun at the party. Quite content in ignoring V for the most part and hanging with Bell, Smokin', AG and the rest of the crew (and newbies). AG and I were actually talking quite a bit, and maybe flirting a bit....somehow I ended up with his sunglasses [I still can't remember how, maybe picked them off the floor??] and I saw him walk out the door. I wasn't sure if he was coming back so I ran after him, only to see Bell drive off in her car.

Panic hit me at the thought of walking back into the party with Bell gone and Smokin' had left quite a while ago, so when I found out that AG was just dropping someone off I invited myself along for the ride. It was nice talking to him. I got the EP from his band [it's pretty good].

When we got back Bell had returned and I was back to having fun. Even when she left to go to another party. And I was highly amused when V fell on his ass and almost took a few guitars down with him. I was starting to remember why I got along so well with this group from the start. [Even though I've almost always been the baby of the group.]

Then somehow I found myself at the house with a bunch of people I didn't know and drunk. I was talking to Abz and trying to convince him to come pick me up without directly asking, to no avail. So I found myself crowded in the back of some SUV with some guy I just met feeling me up with no real recourse save from beating the shit out of him - which isn't a good idea when for all you know you're stuck in a car with his friends!

But I arrived at the Social with the group of wayward travel companions and AG got is in (free too!!). I spent quite a bit of talking with him, and other people too, and nursing glasses of water [my drunk ass, haha]. We were definitely flirting when at one point AG asked for confirmation on something that he heard about me [which is my own business, and I may elect to divulge here later] but he wouldn't say from who.

While he thought it was cute and that it didn't change his opinion of me, I was pissed that someone was telling my business when it wasn't theirs to tell. AG wouldn't tell me who told him, but as far as I knew only V, Smooth, and BD in that crowd knew. BD had moved almost a month before (and therefore had no idea I knew AG, but he could have told someone else in the group and it got around. He did, afterall, tell V), and Smooth had left the party a few hours before and I really saw no reason why he would do that. So I instantly thought it was V and was drunk enough to confront him.

When I spied him along I grabbed his shirt and hissed in his ear that if I found out he was telling shit he shouldn't be telling, he won't like one bit what comes to him from it.

He immediately denied it, and the look on his face seemed like he was sincere. He went on to say how he couldn't do that to me, and what happened between us stays between us. He also went on about how he likes [or was it liked?] me and thinks I'm an amazing girl, and then [FINALLY!!!] gave me an honest answer about why he decided to stop dating me [which plays into what AG found out...still deciding if that's going to become part of this].

He called a truce, and wanted to actually become friends. I decided to take his reaction as sincere and told him that if he actually held up his end - which included returning my calls if I did call him - I'd be ok with a truce. (Apparently he was at least somewhat upset that I had been all but ignoring him, so much so that he had to call me out when I said I wasn't "completely ignoring" him.)

He then told me about how he doesn't use his other phone and it just sits at his house and gave me his new number to reach him on.

V headed out and then I went to go hang with AG. As V and company were saying bye and walking out the door, I double checked with AG to see if I still had a ride. Turns out he offered me a ride when his ride was already full of a drum kit. (Even he had to share his seat with the drum!!)

So lucky (or unlucky) for V, his truce got tested out as a I frantically called him for a ride. I was able to get a hold of him, and was saying bye to AG when he gave me his number in case I didn't meet up with them for some reason. He gives those wonderfully, melt into you hugs [like V gives] and gave me a few - along with some pecks on the cheek.

I left the arms of someone I was surprised to find myself liking [afterall, he was the guy Nicole blew up at me for, and we never shared much in the taste of guys] and was headed towards someone I honestly never expected to count on again.

We had a laborious trek to the car. Two people threw up, one person lost their shoe, and I took some glee in revealing V's age to two of the girls in the group [though I was kinda bummed they were better at guessing his age then I was - but he is NOW hanging out with more people his age opposed to more people my age when I met him].

Unfortunately V fell back into his old role a bit after the truce. When we got back to the house I was going to leave, but he insisted I come in and have some water or food to "sober up". [I was quite sober, than you very much]. And after getting yelled at in the room (well someone was, it was V, Hat Boy, I'm assuming his gf, and some other chick. Someone was getting yelled at) he decided it'd be a good idea to sit next to me on the couch.

The couch at the house he "rescued" me from no more than 7 months prior when he was still my knight in shinning armor.

I found myself asking about his family member that had recently found out he had cancer while I was still dating him. Cursing myself for falling into old habits, but glad to hear that he was doing well. I think V was glad to hear that I remembered, and maybe took it to mean that I still care. [Do I still care?]

V walked me to my car and we briefly chatted a bit more about our truce, and probably chatted about the old days (I'm not sure on that, I think I blocked it out if we did). Before he left he gave me one of those melt into you hugs. I was half expecting the peck on my temple that always used to accompany that, but its absence kept me jarred to the position that we are now in.

AG and I had exchanged a few texts on what we were doing, but I hadn't heard anything since I told him I was going home. I liked him, but for some reason I was left driving home wondering whether he would still like me sober.

Abz called (or maybe I called him) and said he was too drunk to drive, so I told him to stay home since I didn't want him to get hurt. An hour or so later he called and said he was sober enough to drive if I still wanted him to come over. I was still awake, oddly not thinking about the goings on of the night, and gladly told him to come over.

The night ended with me curled up in his arms.

~GF

Rather Uneventful

It was finals week, so there wasn't much going on. Just work, studying, and tests.

Friday I took a break from it all and went to the Panic at the Disco show. It was overall not that exciting. Getting dangerously close to disappointing. Motion City Soundtrack put on a good show, but the crowd sucked. And the horrible crowd continued on to Panic's part of the show. For the most part everyone just stood there - which just makes the whole show boring.

The crowd always makes the show. They all just stood there. I think a big portion of it all came from the fact that Panic remixed all of their songs from their first album and it probably confused people. I loved it. It was nice to hear the same songs, but mixed up and it really seemed like they were enjoying playing those songs. And with almost two years on the one album I'm pretty sure they're glad to not have to play it exactly like it's on the CD.

So the bands put on an awesome show, the crowd just ruined it.

Then I met up with the lovely Bell to take in downtown. It was a lot of fun. Except the expected run in with V and this time Billy at the end of the night. BD and his gf were there as well. I decided to say goodbye to them (they're moving) in case I don't see them before they do. I really only wanted to say bye to BD [though he's been somewhat cold to me since I've dated V] and he called his gf over so I could say bye too.

I really don't care about her leaving. I agree with Bll - I'm way cooler of a person and would be a WAY more awesome girlfriend.

Sunday I went to the Wake Games. Luckily the friend that bitched me out via txt left as I was showing up. But I got to say hi to my friend she works with and he's totally down with hooking me up with great deals on some of their gear. So yay!!

And BG was there. Whew, he's seriously the only pro in a while I've had a thing for. There was that short thing with another pro, that couldn't really be called a thing, but I liked him for a few weeks.

BG is like 27 or something. A good age I think. He's also gorgeous. Now if only we could really, actually hang out. That would be cool. I think I should date a wakeboarder. It's about time.

Then Becca and I met up for dinner [she was at Wake Games too]. It was fun to catch up and have girl talk. I really love her! In some ways she's a lot like me -- especially in certain things that I don't have in common with my other close friends anymore. It's nice to have someone in that same boat as me and that gets it.

We talked about how nice girls finish last behind even nice boys. [More about that on another post.]

Then we went to try out this karaoke place that RG and his friend told me about.

I know, I know. This guy blew me off and I'm going to show up to a place that I KNOW he'll be at???

Well I decided that I barely knew the guy, and even guys I know really well (*cough* V *cough*) can't stop me from doing something I want to do.

So it was fun. I walked in and saw this guy I thought was RG. And it kinda made me a little sad because he came across way cuter and suave, but still a dork and total fun.

I was trying to find a moment to say hi to his friend Karaoke without Fake RG around, and the timing was off. And I really did think it was him because he kept looking at me a few times! Then all of a sudden the real RG showed up. That threw me for a loop.

I had to regroup and then realized that I could go after Fake RG because he wasn't RG. But I wasn't on my game and didn't really have the energy to. It seems Fake RG knows a lot of the people that came to karoke (and I think RG himself too) so he should be around. [Did I mentioned he had a pretty nice body too??]

I finally got a chance to say hi to Karaoke. Part of me kinda wishes he wasn't married. He's definitely cute and very happy and has a fun personality. Oh well, friends works too!

As we chatted, he asked if I had seen RG. I mumbled something and then Karaoke had to go change the song (RG was standing right at the DJ set-up). Karaoke came back and tried to talk us into singing [I said that we'd get a big group and come back and then we'll totally do it... especially if I'm drunk] and RG had sauntered down to our little group. When he caught my eye he was all like "Oh! Hey..." as if he didn't know I was there.

I find it very hard to believe that Karaoke didn't mention that I was there. But Becca and I were on our way out so I didn't stick around for drama or an explanation.

Part of me kinda wished that he would call the next day or something, but I'm ok with him not doing that. Worst comes to worse, I can just flirt with Fake RG whenever I go to karaoke.

Or bring BG. Hehe.

Yay for wishful thinking!!!

~GF

Drama Drama Drama

So the drama is getting to me less. Trying to have some fun and just kinda let it all go.

Red Bull had a wakeboard thing this weekend for all the colleges. It was a freaking blast. So much fun. And Tequila Boy was there. He's someone that's been around for a while. The short of it was, had a crush on his friend way back when. The friend had a girlfriend but was pushing me and Tequila Boy (whom I got drunk off taking shots of tequila with me) so I figured he was single. We almost kissed, but another friend of his walked in on us. A few months later a mutual friend tells me that Tequila Boy had been in a relationship for well over a year (and still was). Since broken up. It's all been friendly like between us since then.

He's cute and probably would be fun as hell to date. Who knows? He's supposed to take me kiteboarding sometime. That'll be fun. :-D

Ran into V, again, downtown Saturday night. Smooth, Billy, Hat Boy, and others were all there. I saw Hat Boy as I was headed into the club and I hadn't seen him in weeks so it was a huge hug run up to say hi. He said that "V and everyone else is back there" and he would be right back.

Don't know why he mentioned V. Doesn't everyone know we aren't dating anymore???

But I ran back there to say hi to everyone, well everyone but V. Smooth makes me smile. Even though he's way older than me (older than V!!) he totally makes me smile [but not in any way a I-want-to-date-you smile].

So I was talking to people, but not saying anything to V. I said hi, that was it. Apparently he doesn't like it when I don't give him attention [yet, when I do he just makes bullshit excuses and forgets me when I'm out of sight] because he kept trying to interject himself into conversations I was having. Like at one point I got tired of it and just "jokingly" shoved my hand in his face and was like blah, leave us alone.

Haha. It totally felt good. When I was leaving he said something to me, and I responded that I went to that bar way before I met him, so he must be stalking me since he's always there. He agreed, though I'm pretty sure he was just joking or something. Whatever.

I'm kinda blah that I haven't really heard from Bandanna. He had to help a friend out last weekend and had to cancel plans before we made definite ones. He said he'd get to me either way this past week because he should be in town. I saw him on the website and was going to IM him, but he got off before I got around to it.

Sigh. I'm going to send him a message to get it over with. No sense in dragging this shit out til he "remembers" me again.

Oh, and to wrap it all V is taking BD's place in his band (Hat Boy is also in said band). So part of the reason I go won't be in the band anymore (but probably at most of the shows), and a reason I don't want to go will be at every show. WTF?!?!? Like I could deal with seeing V at the shows, but now if I go I'm indirectly cheering and clapping for him -- even if I'm not. So not good.

I need a cute boy to go to the show with.

[I wonder what the reason is for BD leaving the band? Though V is a lot closer to everyone in age. [They replace the youngin' with someone older than them!! haha]]

~GF

Spring Break Wrap Up

So this past week was my last spring break of college, at least for undergrad. And my grandiose plans of having an awesome spring break went out the door a few weeks before.

Tuesday I headed home to the 'rents and then to my bro's for a get-together. That was rather uneventful. Still kind of the black sheep of the family - at least that part of the family - but I really don't care anymore. I like who I am and my life, so if they don't it's not my problem.

Wednesday I headed back to Orlando and picked up Amanda and met her friend Carla. Amanda and I headed back to my place and then went out to eat. We headed downtown, to find that Wednesdays really are dead downtown. A lot of guys we had no interest in hit on us. But the bright side is that I actually said something to Vintage! Well, he said it to me and I replied. We were walking by and he asked how I (maybe we?) were doing and I said good. And we went in there to end the night, but I didn't talk to him anymore. There's always girls around him. :-( But he looks gorgeous even out of his suit and in a nice dress shirt.

Thursday we went to Universal Studios. It was fun. Nothing much to report, though we acted like kids in their kid zone and took a lot of pictures. Real friends are ones you can act like you're 5 with when you're really 22. Maybe the best part of the day was the dinner at Margaritaville. Mmmm... that place is so freaking good I wish it was closer to where I live.

Friday was the dreaded CD release show for BD's band. And of course, like I knew, V was there. I show up to the concert almost an hour after it started, and V and Smooth were right in front of me. I said hi to Smooth first, and then V went to give me a hug. Which I stopped at just a half-hug at best, though I really just wanted to push him off of me. He said he owed me an apology, to which I said yeah, with obvious annoyance in his voice. I think he was slightly taken aback by my brashness.

He said he didn't have any excuse for why he did that. That he was real busy with work and such, but that it was no excuse. Then he asked if I forgave him. I told him it wasn't that simple. We were at a show, it wasn't exactly a place where I could pull him aside and ask him what I wanted - if he REALLY wants me to forgive him anyways. And I still don't know exactly what he wants!

I mean, it got really hard for me at times to forget that he did that to me and I should be mad at him. At times, it was so easy to fall back into the ease we always had each other. One of his friends even wanted a picture of us, and he just wrapped his arms around me like he used to and I couldn't help but smile at how good it felt. But once his arms were gone, I was hit with the sudden realization that I don't know how to take gestures from him like that anymore.

I talked with Smooth, Billy, Alberto and a bunch of new people throughout the night. The good thing about that crowd is I know so many people it usually isn't that bad when I go alone. BD and I are back on hugging terms - though it's definitely different hugs than pre-V era. His gf got up on stage with the band a sang. I knew she sang, but I wasn't so impressed.

Saturday night I headed downtown with my group of friends I haven't hung out with in a while. It was fun, though JB started getting a lil touchy feely and I didn't get to talk to the cute guys that were at the club because they disappeared. Thankfully a sun burn helped me escape the awkwardness as JB hugged me goodbye. I had a slight feeling he might have gone in for a kiss (we made out a few times back in like August) which I'm just not up for, with him, anymore.

Now I'm just stuck with the hell of trying to put together a huge project for a class that I need to pass. It's due in four days, and it's an UTTER mess. I'm sure I'll be stuck working on that for the next four days.

~GF

Blast from the past...soon

So while I'm somewhat complaining about not having dates (somewhat because I really don't want to go out and get dates quite yet), an old flame or sorts is coming back into town for a visit. AC isn't coming for me, but from the way he talks he's definitely planning on spending time with me. I'm fine with that, I always liked him and he was fun to hang out with, but I also know he's wanting more than just friendship while he's here.

Right now, it's not real - he's not here - so I really don't know what I want to do. Though it is fun flirting with him online. There wasn't a big reason why we stopped dating. I was just super busy with one of my hardest semesters and got wrapped up in BD and S along with AC. I thought he had moved out of Florida, but apparently he left because we stopped hanging out. Miscommunication is always a flaw of mine - whether it's mine or theirs.

Anyways, he's really looking forward to coming to visit me and I don't know if I want to do all that. I haven't done it in a while, and when I did it was with B, my ex, like six months after we broke up when I was visiting (we broke up because B moved, no miscommunication on that one). I've been so tired of guy's shit I've just had no interest in it all. And even with the prospect of someone who knows all my hang-ups coming back around, I'm still not that enthralled with the idea. I've apparently lost my mojo....

With all the lack of mojo I need to find something to occupy my time. Maybe I'll get the inspiration to go off alone sometime soon. Maybe not, I'm so tired of being alone.

~GF